no feeling is final

Mar 3

how mindfulness shaped my writing, my agency, and the way I choose to live

I don’t talk very much about the ten years I taught and shared mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation. Despite being regarded as a teacher, it feels like so much of that period of my life was about learning and growing, that the work I was meant to do was off the mat and in the world.

To be honest, if you practice long enough, that’s what you arrive at. The realization that the teacher is always a student.

In many ways, I feel fortunate that I stumbled upon these practices because they have provided a way for me to navigate this human journey with a greater sense of ground, and the opportunity to practice what it means to be present to the ever-changing seasons of our lives.

I think it’s fair to say that half of the reason I’m able to look for joy and appreciate the ordinary moments is due to the gifts these modalities have offered.

Mindfulness is a skill that, when practiced, affords us the opportunity to attune to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us in a way that opens doorways of connection, empathy, compassion, and deeper understanding. It in no way means that we are automatically going to live a life of Zen and have it all figured out. That we won’t continue to endure moments of sorrow, grief, or outrage. It simply means we get to experience the full range of feelings and emotions as we navigate this human experience—but with far less attachment. Because in the great words of Rilke, “No feeling is final.” (I’ve included a translation and reading by Joanna Macy for On Being below).

Over five years ago, I made the decision to step away from the classroom. To focus more time and energy on being present for my own life. To give myself the opportunity to be more creative by focusing on writing, creating two small businesses, and making things. What emerged was seeing how this practice of presence would inform my writing, along with every facet of my life. The result: more connection, more vulnerability, deeper trust, and a growing sense of self-empowerment. An established relationship with my own creative process. A confidence rooted not in external approval, but in my willingness to show up for myself. One could say, more freedom to create without conditions.

There is something deeply empowering about taking back our agency. About relinquishing the need to outsource our value and worth, and instead cultivating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, and in turn, with others.

I’m not sure if half of this awareness has stemmed from being steeped in midlife, or by way of over two decades of practice. Either way, I feel a sense of gratitude for having arrived at a place in my life where outside validation or approval no longer occupies so much space. Where I get to do life on my terms, even if it is unconventional and means that the relationship I am now prioritizing is the one with myself and my creative life. A life that feels honest and congruent with who I am.

If you’re endeavoring to create something, or committed to making things, I want to offer a few thoughts:

Be gentle with yourself as you create and as you navigate this wild human journey. Creativity asks a lot of us. It asks us to risk being seen, to move through doubt, and to sit with the discomfort of not knowing if what we’re making is any good. That rhythm takes time to discover, and it requires patience. It’s natural to question what you’re doing. Afterall, you are building something out of nothing. Practicing patience and gentleness is a generous offering to yourself, and one you’re absolutely worthy of.

Keep going.

xx Alana

A little inspo for the journey…