the relationship that shapes everything
tending to self-connection as the root of a creative and artful life
Before the art. Before the love stories. Before the partnerships, the projects, the offerings we send out into the world, there’s one relationship that quietly shapes it all: the one we have with ourselves.
Of course, we don’t talk about it nearly enough. We’ve been conditioned to speak of soulmates and collaborators, business partners, creative allies, and inspirations. But what about the part of us that keeps showing up, day after day, no matter how many times we doubt, abandon, betray, or overlook our own evolution?
A creative life, an artful life, begins with presence. And presence begins with self-relationship—how we listen to ourselves, how we care for the parts that still feel tender, how we meet our resistance with curiosity instead of shame, how we trust our timing, and how we dare to stay when times get difficult. This relationship isn’t always easy. It requires tenderness. Attention. Repair. But it’s also where devotion is born.
To the degree that we can hold ourselves with tenderness and care, that we can show up for ourselves, sit with our own discomfort, and learn to regulate our own nervous systems, is the degree to which we will be able to meet another’s tenderness with care.
I realize not everyone’s commitment to their own growth is a conscious choice they’ve been taught to prioritize. So much of what we’ve been taught is to prioritize the needs of others—even when it’s at the expense of our own well-being. Perhaps life experience, and being a recovering people-pleaser, has helped me see the forest through the trees. To realize that putting on my own oxygen mask, in service not only to myself but to those around me, is of greatest benefit.
Over the last six months, I’ve been thinking about how prioritizing self-care relates to the creative path. How vital it is to make space for not just one’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being, but also space for creativity. For those who have ever endeavored to create anything—whether that’s a business, a family, or art—you know all too well how easy it can be to let your own well-being, let alone your own interests and creative pursuits, fall by the wayside.
When we begin to honor the self not as a brand or performance or endless project to improve, but as a living, breathing creative force, we start to live artfully. Not just in what we make, but in how we move through the world. We begin to see just how important it is to tend to our inner world. To tend to the inner garden of our being, with nourishment and care. Because ultimately, how we relate to ourselves is how we relate to the work. To others. To life.
Questions to Carry:
How am I tending to my relationship with myself right now?
What kind of friend, companion, or creative witness am I being to myself?
What might shift if I treated self-connection as the foundation, not the afterthought?
© Alana Foy 2025
