it all started with a prompt
notes from the frontlines of dating, love, loss, and letting sh*t go in your 40s
What began as a simple writing prompt turned into something else entirely, a love letter, a survival guide, a list of things I wish someone had told me sooner.
Here’s what I’ve learned (and unlearned) about dating, friendship, bodies, boundaries, heartbreak, healing, and what it means to show up, for yourself and others, in your 40s and beyond.
Some lessons landed softly. Others knocked the wind out of me. All all of them brought me home to myself.
Take what you want. Discard what doesn’t serve. Write your own version.
Tending to Self
Time is your most valuable currency. Don’t waste yours or someone else's.
If you’re open and curious, you’ll learn to value and appreciate your own company.
Energy flows where attention goes; be mindful where you direct it.
Divest from anything or anyone that takes more than it gives.
Release what’s not serving you… let that shit go.
Be brave and vulnerable.
Self-care is love. Rinse, repeat.
Despite all your best efforts, your body will change. Embrace it. And keep moving it.
Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize.
Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate.
Sometimes, ice cream is the answer.
The Learning Curve of Intimacy and Dating
Through the process of dating, you’ll learn more about what you want.
No one is perfect, and neither are you. What a relief.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Know your yeses. Own your nos.
Consent is sexy.
Emotional intelligence is attractive. What’s your EQ?
Dating apps are a trap.
There’s no such thing as a knight in shining armor. No one is coming to save you.
Don’t be afraid to risk heartbreak, rejection, or the mess of real connection. What is for you will not pass you.
Connection + Companionship
Your friends will be a source of deep connection and belonging. Love your people and let them love you back. We can’t do this journey alone.
Your four-legged friend will be your best mate and companion. Snug them daily.
Dancing is just as fantastic in your 40s as it was in your 20s.
Staying out past ten is a chore (and that's okay).
Love & Relationship
The way you love and care for yourself shapes your capacity to love and care for someone else.
Communication is an art. Listen as deeply as you long to be heard.
Every relationship will have highs and lows, tension and ease. What matters most is how you show up in the in-between.
Safety and security are everything. Love can’t thrive without them.
Co-regulation is essential. Learn how to stay steady together.
Relationships are like gardens. They need consistent care, not just intention.
Patience isn’t passive. Sometimes the most beautiful things take time.
A healthy relationship is worth the wait.
© Alana Foy 2025
